What Does Cheating Mean in Open Relationships?
Redefining Trust and Transparency
Cheating in an open relationship, sounds like an oxymoron, right? After all, isn’t the whole point of non-monogamy to eliminate the traditional concept of cheating? Not quite. Just because you’re exploring love and intimacy beyond monogamy doesn’t mean infidelity can’t happen. It’s just redefined.
In open relationships, cheating isn’t about exclusivity, it’s about breaking trust, crossing boundaries, or failing to honor agreements. Let’s dive into what cheating really means in an open relationship and how you can safeguard trust and transparency.
1. Cheating Starts Where Your Agreements End
In open relationships, the concept of cheating isn’t tied to who you’re with, but how you’re with them. If you’ve agreed to certain rules or boundaries, like telling your partner before meeting someone new or avoiding specific people, cheating happens when those agreements are broken.
Think of your agreements as the foundation of trust. Stray from that, and cracks start to form.
2. Honesty is the Golden Rule
Transparency is non-negotiable in non-monogamy. Hiding details, lying about your plans, or omitting the truth can feel just as hurtful as physical betrayal in monogamous relationships.
Bottom line: if you’re not honest, it’s a cheat move, even if the act itself isn’t inherently “wrong.”
3. Emotional Infidelity Still Counts
Emotional cheating is just as real in open relationships as it is in monogamous ones. If you’re developing a deep, emotional connection with someone but hiding it from your partner, that secrecy can feel like a breach of trust.
In ENM, it’s not about what you feel, it’s about whether you’ve been upfront about it.
4. Don’t Assume “Anything Goes”
Open doesn’t mean no rules. Every relationship, monogamous or not, thrives on boundaries. Maybe you’ve agreed that overnight stays are off-limits, or that you’ll always use protection with other partners. Cheating happens when those boundaries are ignored.
Here’s a tip: if you’re unsure, ask. Assumptions are a one-way ticket to miscommunication.
5. Check in Regularly
Boundaries and rules aren’t set in stone, they evolve as your relationship grows. What felt fine six months ago might not sit right now.
Regular check-ins help you stay aligned, address potential blind spots, and prevent unintentional breaches of trust.
6. Jealousy and Cheating Aren’t the Same
Let’s clear this up: feeling jealous doesn’t mean someone cheated. Jealousy is an emotion; cheating is an action.
If jealousy pops up, use it as a moment for self-reflection and open dialogue. It’s how you handle those feelings, not the feelings themselves, that defines your connection.
7. Accountability is Everything
If a boundary is crossed, own up to it. Accountability can turn a mistake into a moment of growth. Avoid defensiveness and focus on understanding how your actions impacted your partner.
Mistakes happen, it’s how you address them that determines the health of your relationship.
In Conclusion
Cheating in open relationships isn’t about sleeping with someone else; it’s about breaking trust, sidestepping transparency, or ignoring agreements. Trust and honesty are the heartbeat of non-monogamy. Respect them, and you’ll build connections that last.
Looking to meet like-minded people who share your values of trust and transparency? Download Simmr, the app for people exploring ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and open relationships. Connect with a community that gets it and supports your journey.
Download Simmr today and redefine what trust and connection mean for you.